Fault
by xraex21
Summary: While trying to deal with her guilt, Quinn Fabray finds herself in a place she never thought she'd be. Faberry. Spoilers: Season 2: Though I do not believe anything is directly referred to, it is where I pulled the characterization from.


**Beta:** bitcaw did an amazing job on this. I seem to have a problem with commas, as in I don't use them very often. Thank you so much Bit!

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Glee or the world these characters play in.

**A/N:** This is what happens when a fluff!writer goes looking for prompts and meanders into the angst!prompts at rq_meme. This doesn't actually fill a prompt, but Jesus do I feel like I have to explain myself for this.

* * *

**Fault **

Quinn gasped in deep uneven breaths as she stumbled her way down the hallway. Everything had happened so fast, too fast. She couldn't focus her thoughts. She didn't know where to go, she just had to get out and fast. Digging her toes into the carpet, the staggering blonde ran as quickly as she could, down the stairs and out the Berry's front door.

She had to run. This was all her fault. Her fault. She sobbed as she ran, making breathing nearly impossible. She had to run because Rachel Berry was gone, forever, and it was all her fault.

Crumpled note in hand Quinn ran across the street, not even flinching as she was met with an oncoming pickup.

_Dear Quinn,_

_I love you. I'm sorry I was never brave enough to say it to you and face the consequences._

_Yours forever,_

_Rachel Barbra Berry_

**_

* * *

_**

The first thing Quinn Fabray felt when she woke up was pure panic, pain, and complete regret. Next was the uncomfortable feeling of clothes clinging to her damp skin and sweat soaked sheets. The Black Eyed Peas blared from her alarm clock and she could not find the strength to reach over and make it stop. Heart beating hard against her chest, hands clinging to her sheets so hard they were almost as white, Quinn released a deep sob.

Pieces of the dream she had been having swirled in the chaos of her mind, pulling at her emotions. She had never felt so horrible in her entire life. She couldn't fathom the reason the suicide of Rachel Berry would mean more to her than her own death, but she knew that while she was asleep it had. She knew it scared the hell out of her. She knew she would do whatever it took to never feel this way again.

The head cheerleader pulled her ponytail tighter while she looked into to the bathroom mirror. She knew that was the third time she had done that since walking into the girl's bathroom, but she needed the slight pain on her scalp to keep in control.

Rachel was bent over the sink farthest from her trying to get cherry slushie out of her hair. Quinn pulled her hair again as she fought back every desire she had to help the other girl. The blonde had to keep reminding herself that her dream was just a dream. The diva could handle herself, she always could. Quinn couldn't help her, she couldn't. She had worked so hard to get back on top and she couldn't throw all of it away just for a dream. Swallowing down the guilt and fear, Quinn turned on heel and left the bathroom without even a "Later Man-Hands."

* * *

Glee Club was a horrible, evil place where Quinn had no choice but to stare at Rachel. For someone so small the brunette took up the entire room. Rachel's voice rang off the walls, her skirt twirled as she danced around Finn as if he were a prop, and every once in awhile their eyes would connect causing Quinn to hold back a whimper.

A sharp pain blossomed under her left ribs and the cheerleader turned to see a very irritated Santana glowering at her.

Whispering harshly Santana asked, "What the fuck is your problem Q? You keep staring at Stubbles like that and Bambie is gonna hand you a pamphlet on _Teen Lesbianism: The Truth About Dental Dams_."

Through clenched teeth Quinn responded as quietly as possible, "Shut up S. It's so not like that. Just because you and Brittany are in the closet doesn't mean every cheerleader is a rug-muncher."

A little angrier now the Latina responded, "Leave Brit the fuck outta this, she's dating Wheels. Plus, I have Puck."

Quinn gave a dry laugh and replied, "You fuck Puck, there's a difference. And do we even know if Artie can get it up? I mean if he can shouldn't you have taken him for a test drive already? Every stick is good enough for you right?"

With a snarl Santana lunged forward out of her chair and knocked Quinn too the ground. A very shrill scream echoed throughout the choir room as the boys were trying to split the two girls apart.

"God Berry. It's bad enough that Tubbers is throwing punches, the last thing I need is you making my ears bleed with that girly ass scream of yours." Grabbing Brittany's hand, Santana made her way out of the room , but not quietly. "I hope you bitches are happy together in hell."

Quinn cringed at the comment, hoping that everyone missed it. Obviously that was too much to ask for because since Santana had left the room all anyone could stare at was her. The blonde stood up as casually as she could manage, straightened out her uniform and without a glance to anyone left the room as well.

* * *

Chin lifted, Quinn Fabray walked through the throng of students, watching them part for her as she made her way to her locker. Unfortunately before she could reach her destination she heard another shrill scream.

With a hard shove and a level glare, Quinn spat menacingly, "Back off, Karofsky! You don't get to mess with Stubbles unless I say so."

The group of jocks quickly walked away with a universal grunt. Quinn subtly helped Rachel up and pulled her down the hallway to her locker.

With a sigh the blonde said lightly, "You shouldn't let them treat you like that."

Confused, Rachel responded, "You treat me like that."

"Well I'm sorry okay? I'm sorry." Quinn hissed at Rachel while trying to make sure no one was close enough to them to hear their conversation.

Rachel's eyes rounded and she started ranting worriedly, "I think we should take you to the nurse, Quinn. Obviously Santana hurt you a lot worse than we all thought when she tackled you. You could have a concussion or an internal bleed that could result in death. "

Feeling suddenly drained Quinn said, "I'm fine Rachel, it's just been a really long day. I just want to go home."

"I don't think I should leave you alone or let you drive a vehicle." Rachel looked determined and she pressed her foot into the floor.

Quinn questioned, "Why?"

Quinn couldn't tell if Rachel was annoyed with her or actually worried, as the brunette said, "Weren't you listening to me? You might have a concussion! Seriously, Quinn, I'm not leaving you alone."

Without really thinking, Quinn responded, "Fine then come with me, either way I'm going home."

Looking even more determined than before, Rachel responded, "The fact that you just invited me to your house in the middle of the hallway where anyone could hear you only proves my point."

Too exhausted to be concerned with the situation she was getting herself into, the blonde closed her locker and said, "Come on then."

* * *

After a very uncomfortable silent car ride to Quinn's house Rachel could not help but ask the moment she got into the cheerleader's bedroom, "Why was your day so bad? I mean it seemed rather normal to me, other than you not insulting me in the bathroom earlier."

"I'm really not going to have this discussion with you of all people," Quinn said not even bothering to hide her irritation.

Curiosity peeked, Rachel couldn't help but ask, "Why?"

Feeling the intrusive gaze of the smaller girl, Quinn replied glibly, "Because."

Rachel asked as innocently as she could, "Because why?"

While taking off her shoes Quinn looked up at the other girl with an arched eyebrow. "You did not just say that."

Annoyed, Rachel responded, "Clearly I did. So why?"

"Because it's personal, Berry; meaning that it doesn't have to do with you," the blonde frustratedly responded as she flopped down on her bed.

"Well obviously it has something to do with me or you would have just told me already, so just say it." Rachel crossed her arms and glared at the blonde who was trying to get herself situated comfortably on her bed.

Unable to find a comfortable position Quinn punched her pillow and said, "No."

Rachel straightened her posture and walked over to the bed. "I'm not leaving until you tell me. If it concerns me then I have a right to know."

Feeling uncomfortable, as the small brunette got closer to her Quinn again responded, "No."

Frustrated Rachel pouted dramatically and sat on the end of the bed. "You know I'm starting to understand why Santana hit you."

Quinn leveled a glare and scoffed, "Like you could even lay a finger on me, RuPaul."

More than a little insulted at the continuous name calling, Rachel ground out, "I didn't say I was going to actually hit you, Quinn, I just said that I can understand the urge."

Snorting, Quinn responded miserably, "Great, everyone wants to hit me today. Why not hit me with your car while you're at it?"

Not understanding the blonde's train of thought Rachel questioned, "Why would I hit you with a car I don't have, Quinn?"

Quinn shrugged and looked out the window.

Noticing the change in Quinn's behavior Rachel scooted closer to her on the bed. "Quinn, you're really starting to worry me. What's wrong?"

Quinn tried to ignore the brunette at her feet and focus on the leaves on the tree blowing in the wind outside. "You know even if you have a really annoying habit of trying to be the center of attention all the time in Glee, I do like your voice."

Further confused, Rachel tried again, "Quinn…"

"I just don't want to ever not be able to hear that voice again," wiping away her own tears Quinn continued, "It just seems wrong for the world to exist without your voice."

At first Quinn thought it was the tears in her eyes causing the world began to blur and change. Then she realized as a wave of pain shot through her: the world was very, very wrong all on its own.

**_

* * *

_**

"**She's coding!"**

"**Charging paddles!"**

"**Clear!"**

Quinn felt as if her body had been lit on fire, all of her nerve endings sending in signals at once. Everything felt wrong, there was so much pain. She was so tired and heavy. She just needed to sleep for a little while and everything would be better when she woke up.

"**We've got a pulse, she's back!"**

**

* * *

**

A sterile smell burned her nostrils as Quinn awoke in a hospital bed, the white walls too much for her eyes to handle. She clasped her eyes shut and tried to get her bearings. An annoying beeping was to her right and the soft murmurs of people in the distance told her where she was. As the memories of how she got there assaulted her, she could not hold back a sob, even as the movement caused her body to throb in severe pain.

The smell of lilacs and old people came in with a petite nurse with white hair. "Oh good you're awake. You're a very lucky girl Ms. Fabray! Had the driver who hit you not have seen you run into the road and slowed down just in time, you wouldn't be with us right now."

Quinn only cried harder at her misfortune, she didn't want to be here. She didn't want to be in a world where she was nothing but a lonely bitch and Rachel Berry was dead.

"As much as I want to inform you of your current state of health. You have a visitor who has threatened to sue the hospital so many times that we've had to keep our security on her since you were admitted. I hope you wouldn't mind if we just let her in? Because we really can't keep babysitting her, we're trying to save lives you know?"

The woman looked apologetic as she scuffled back out of the room. Quinn heard the beeping go faster next to her as she tried not to hope. She'd seen the note right? She'd seen it when she'd gone to Rachel's house to apologize for the triple slushying the brunette had gotten earlier that day because of Quinn.

She remembered ringing the doorbell a few times, knocking, and then trying the door handle because no one in Lima, Ohio really ever locked their doors. She remembered calling out a "Hello" and walking up the stairs of the eerily quiet house. She remembered taking in the pictures on the wall of a happy family. She remembered a hanging picture of an adorable little Rachel all dressed up with her two proud fathers hugging her from behind. She remembered the gold star on Rachel's bedroom door. She remembered looking around the room for the brunette. She remembered seeing the gold star sticker shine on the stationary of the note on the bed. It had been perfectly laid out, almost as if it were waiting for her. She remembered reading it over and over again until she had crushed it in her hand and run out of the house. Then she remembered the truck.

A blur of a brunette rushed into the room and nearly dove on top of the patient as she tried to assess the blonde's injuries. "Quinn! Oh my God! Are you OK? Have they been treating you well because I have already informed them in great detail that if they make even one mistake in your care I will make sure that my Daddy sues them into poverty."

Finding her throat dry, Quinn tried to follow the conversation while restraining herself from reaching out and pulling the smaller girl into her. "Rachel your Dad can't sue on my account, my Dad would have to sue."

Unperturbed, Rachel carefully ran her hands down Quinn's arms as if looking for invisible injuries. "Technicality. Are you alright?"

Quinn nodded and was about to say yes only to be cut off with, "Do you have any idea how scary it was for me to hear the ambulance pull up and see them put you in it? What were you thinking Quinn Fabray running around in the street like that?"

Remembering the reason she had run into the road Quinn tried to explain, "I read your note and I thought you had…" she cleared her throat not wanting to say it out loud and continued, "but you didn't and you're here and I am so sorry for every awful thing I've said and done to you. I was scared and weak. I don't deserve the way you feel about me."

Suddenly nervous Rachel took a step back. The brunette seemed to shrink as she said, "You don't have to feel the same way about me Quinn. I was going to leave that note in your locker tomorrow since it's the day before winter break and would have been the optimal time to let you think about it. What were you doing in my room anyway?"

Feeling the tension coming from Rachel, Quinn responded, "I was coming to apologize for today. It went way too far. I am so sorry, I promise to never let them treat you like that again."

Drawing her eyebrows together, Rachel pointed out, "You weren't the only one there, Quinn. This wasn't your fault. Finn could have just as easily stopped them."

Quinn's voice was strained as she said, "They slushied you because of me. It was my fault. I told Santana that I thought we should start to lay off you and she was making a point through the football team."

"Why would you ask Santana to stop bullying me?" Rachel questioned.

Quinn sank back into the bed and whispered, "Because I like you."

Unable to hear, Rachel stepped forward and asked, "What?"

Finding courage, Quinn held back her tears and made eye contact as she stated, "I like you."

Silence. That's all Quinn heard as Rachel stopped breathing and stared at her.

Smirking at the tiny girl's reaction, Quinn said sarcastically, "Don't let it go to your head, Berry. I'm not asking you to go steady or anything; God knows your ego couldn't handle you caring about another person. I just happen to think you're not as horrible as I originally thought."

Barely listening, Rachel stated, "You like me."

Looking off to the side Quinn mumbled, "Seems that way."

Hope filled Rachel's expressive face as she pushed further into her line of questioning. "Like like like me?"

Quinn laughed at the diva's loss of vocabulary. "Was that a real question? I don't think you can use that many of the same word in a sentence."

Rachel surged forward and awkwardly kissed the side of Quinn's mouth. Neither one of them moved; too scared that if they did, everything they wanted would be gone. Knowing she had to be brave, Quinn pulled back slightly and looked into Rachel's eyes. What she saw made hers close as she pressed her lips firmly on Rachel's this time.

Quinn could still feel the guilt lurking under all the happiness she felt in that moment. She could feel it spreading and twisting its way into the warmth that Rachel provided. But then Rachel clung to her; as if she were afraid Quinn would leave their embrace. That's when she decided that no matter how much pain and suffering injected itself into their lives, she would fight it back. She would find the faults within herself and fix them in order to be everything Rachel Berry deserved.


End file.
